Part 1
By Monika Benoit
Waking up multiple times during the night to comfort a distressed baby can easily become overwhelming. Not getting the rest you need at night isn't just frustrating, according to Sleep-deprivation.com:
“Sleep deprivation can have serious effects on your health in the form of physical and mental impairments. Inadequate rest impairs our ability to think, handle stress, maintain a healthy immune system and moderate our emotions.”
In a 2000 study published in the British journal Occupational and Environmental Medicine, researchers in Australia and New Zealand report that getting less than 6 hours a night can affect coordination, reaction time and judgment – some of the same hazardous effects as being drunk.
Finally, a legitimate excuse to sleep-in!
Before you decide “enough is enough” - take the time to gain a little perspective on your own situation.
Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution points out: “The key is to evaluate whether your baby’s sleep schedule is a problem in your eyes, or just in those of the people around you.”
Begin today by contemplating the following questions. The answers you come up with will help you gain a more thorough understanding of not only what is happening with regard to your baby’s sleep, but what approach you will feel most comfortable using to help your baby sleep better.
1. Am I happy, healthy, and well rested?
2. Is my baby happy, healthy, and seemingly well rested?
3. What is a reasonable expectation for my baby at his/her age?
4. Am I content with the way things are, or am I becoming resentful, angry, or frustrated?
5. Is my baby’s nighttime routine negatively affecting my marriage, my job, or my relationships with my other children?
6. What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “acceptable”?
7. What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “pure bliss”?
8. Why do I want to change my baby’s sleep patterns? Is it truly what’s best for me and my baby, or am I doing this to meet someone else’s expectations?
9. Am I willing to be patient and make a gradual, gentle change for my baby if that means no crying?
You may have one – or many – people telling you that you should just let your baby cry to sleep. While it is true that there is no “right way” or “wrong way” - you should make a conscious decision to not let frustration and confusion affect your parenting choices. To approach your sleep issue rationally, allow yourself to gain a little perspective by asking yourself these questions:
1. Where will I be five years from now?
2. How will I look back on this time?
3. Will I be proud of how I handled my baby’s sleep routines, or will I regret my actions?
4. How will the things I do with my baby today affect the person he will become in the future?
The question of “when will my baby soothe himself to sleep” is a common one in our culture, but we may be expecting too much from our babies!
According to Jan Hunt author of The Natural Child: Parenting From the Heart, “For thousands of generations, babies were carried all day until they could crawl and all children slept next to their parents and siblings at night; their cries received a quick response, and their culture recognized their needs as natural and normal. Mothers also had far more support from their friends and relatives. Today, mothers...have fewer people to turn to when they feel tired, ill, or simply in need of a break from child tending. Because of this, a baby's legitimate needs like being carried, having cries quickly attended to, and being nursed to sleep can feel emotionally and physically overwhelming in our stressful world”
Nonetheless, tired mothers around the world can't help but wonder whether there really is a way to convince their baby how to meet mom's needs. While a baby's natural needs cannot be forcibly changed without traumatic effect, Part II of this series will explore some things parents can try to make life easier.
Resources:
“Parenting in an Imperfect World”
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/imperfect_world.html
“Should I let my baby cry it out?”
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php?nid=361
“Sleep deprivation as bad as alcohol impairment, study suggests”
http://archives.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/09/20/sleep.deprivation/
“The Effects of Sleep Deprivation”
http://www.sleep-deprivation.com/articles/effects-of-sleep-deprivation/index.php
“When will my baby soothe himself back to sleep?”
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/sleep.html
By Monika Benoit
Waking up multiple times during the night to comfort a distressed baby can easily become overwhelming. Not getting the rest you need at night isn't just frustrating, according to Sleep-deprivation.com:
“Sleep deprivation can have serious effects on your health in the form of physical and mental impairments. Inadequate rest impairs our ability to think, handle stress, maintain a healthy immune system and moderate our emotions.”
In a 2000 study published in the British journal Occupational and Environmental Medicine, researchers in Australia and New Zealand report that getting less than 6 hours a night can affect coordination, reaction time and judgment – some of the same hazardous effects as being drunk.
Finally, a legitimate excuse to sleep-in!
Before you decide “enough is enough” - take the time to gain a little perspective on your own situation.
Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution points out: “The key is to evaluate whether your baby’s sleep schedule is a problem in your eyes, or just in those of the people around you.”
Begin today by contemplating the following questions. The answers you come up with will help you gain a more thorough understanding of not only what is happening with regard to your baby’s sleep, but what approach you will feel most comfortable using to help your baby sleep better.
1. Am I happy, healthy, and well rested?
2. Is my baby happy, healthy, and seemingly well rested?
3. What is a reasonable expectation for my baby at his/her age?
4. Am I content with the way things are, or am I becoming resentful, angry, or frustrated?
5. Is my baby’s nighttime routine negatively affecting my marriage, my job, or my relationships with my other children?
6. What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “acceptable”?
7. What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “pure bliss”?
8. Why do I want to change my baby’s sleep patterns? Is it truly what’s best for me and my baby, or am I doing this to meet someone else’s expectations?
9. Am I willing to be patient and make a gradual, gentle change for my baby if that means no crying?
You may have one – or many – people telling you that you should just let your baby cry to sleep. While it is true that there is no “right way” or “wrong way” - you should make a conscious decision to not let frustration and confusion affect your parenting choices. To approach your sleep issue rationally, allow yourself to gain a little perspective by asking yourself these questions:
1. Where will I be five years from now?
2. How will I look back on this time?
3. Will I be proud of how I handled my baby’s sleep routines, or will I regret my actions?
4. How will the things I do with my baby today affect the person he will become in the future?
The question of “when will my baby soothe himself to sleep” is a common one in our culture, but we may be expecting too much from our babies!
According to Jan Hunt author of The Natural Child: Parenting From the Heart, “For thousands of generations, babies were carried all day until they could crawl and all children slept next to their parents and siblings at night; their cries received a quick response, and their culture recognized their needs as natural and normal. Mothers also had far more support from their friends and relatives. Today, mothers...have fewer people to turn to when they feel tired, ill, or simply in need of a break from child tending. Because of this, a baby's legitimate needs like being carried, having cries quickly attended to, and being nursed to sleep can feel emotionally and physically overwhelming in our stressful world”
Nonetheless, tired mothers around the world can't help but wonder whether there really is a way to convince their baby how to meet mom's needs. While a baby's natural needs cannot be forcibly changed without traumatic effect, Part II of this series will explore some things parents can try to make life easier.
Resources:
“Parenting in an Imperfect World”
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/imperfect_world.html
“Should I let my baby cry it out?”
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php?nid=361
“Sleep deprivation as bad as alcohol impairment, study suggests”
http://archives.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/09/20/sleep.deprivation/
“The Effects of Sleep Deprivation”
http://www.sleep-deprivation.com/articles/effects-of-sleep-deprivation/index.php
“When will my baby soothe himself back to sleep?”
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/sleep.html
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